you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
