He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
