We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
