Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize