you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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