I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize