do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I deserve this hangover.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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