I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
