Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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