Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We talked him into tasing himself.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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