I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I can't turn off my feet"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
