Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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