so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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