I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
