So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
