i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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