Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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