Everything about him screamed your future.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
