how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just had sex bonerless
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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