so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
