u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
