I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
