she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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