don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
