I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
