so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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