doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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