Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish I only lived at night.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
