Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
