North Korea, Best Korea!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
