is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
