My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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