Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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