Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
