Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
