on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize