Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
