There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
