sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize