I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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