you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
