I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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