so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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