a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
