dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
