is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
