That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
