She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
