Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
