I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize