Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
