she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
