Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
