That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
