I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
