how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize