SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
