Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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