just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
