he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Houston, we have a blender
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
