Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
