i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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