capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
