I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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